Couples therapy and family therapy
Break negative relationship patterns with couples therapy
For most people, relationships are the essence of life. Unfortunately, relationships don’t always function smoothly and can sometimes feel incredibly difficult to manage. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a connection with family members, or friendships, they can trigger intense emotions such as jealousy, anger, grief, or disappointment.
At times, individuals may lose sight of their core values – the kind of partner, parent, friend, or sibling they truly aspire to be. This often happens when emotions and thoughts take over, leading to a loss of self-control. Couples therapy can help you reconnect with each other and work through your challenges.
Couples therapy in London
World Psychologists offers couples therapy at our clinics in London as well as online therapy sessions via video calls. We welcome you to seek support from our experienced couples therapists, either in person or remotely.
Couples therapy helps you reflect
Through reflection and focusing on core values, individuals can gain insight into recurring situations and adjust their approach to improve relationships. It’s essential to identify triggers, thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, behaviours, and both short-term and long-term consequences to stop acting on autopilot and instead take steps toward becoming the partner, family member, or friend they want to be.
Some individuals are naturally assertive and good at setting boundaries. However, they may need to learn to pause, regulate their reactions, and become more empathetic and validating towards others.
Others struggle with asserting themselves and tend to be overly accommodating, often suppressing their own needs, thoughts, and emotions to avoid conflict. People with excessively high levels of agreeableness (kindness) are more likely to end up in relationships where they risk being taken advantage of or mistreated.
We help you find balance
Our goal is to find a balance – not being too accommodating but also not too rigid with boundaries. In psychology, this balance is called healthy assertiveness. It means being able to listen and validate others' thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires while also expressing your own in a respectful manner.
Ideally, your partner also strives for healthy assertiveness, as this significantly increases the likelihood of both individuals experiencing the relationship as positive and fulfilling.
Realistic expectations in a relationship
It’s crucial to have realistic expectations of your partner and not expect them to be solely responsible for your happiness. Many people believe that their relationship should always feel like "walking on clouds," and when this honeymoon phase fades, they assume something is wrong.
For those who seek constant excitement or tend to avoid emotional depth, this transition can feel either boring or frightening. They may start seeking thrills elsewhere or engaging in shallow, short-term relationships instead of committing to deeper emotional bonds.
However, avoiding emotional intimacy and connection rarely leads to fulfilling relationships. Individuals with avoidant or ambivalent attachment styles can practice staying in the relationship rather than instinctively withdrawing when faced with negative emotions. The key is to ensure that core values drive decisions, not old behavioural patterns that sabotage long-term goals.
Personality differences in relationships
The closer two people are in terms of personality, the easier it is to maintain a relationship. For example, if both partners are creative, they may enjoy working on exciting projects together. However, if only one partner is creatively inclined, they may feel frustrated that their interests are not shared.
Similarly, if one partner is highly organised, structured, and hardworking while the other is laid-back and spontaneous, this may lead to conflicts over planning and responsibility.
Differences in extroversion can also create challenges. A more social partner may feel their introverted partner doesn’t communicate enough, while the introvert may feel drained by social interactions and need more quiet time after work.
A highly agreeable (kind and empathetic) partner may find their blunt or direct partner insensitive. A worrier may feel frustrated that their calmer partner doesn’t understand their concerns.
The reality is that we rarely consider personality traits when falling in love. In fact, we are often drawn to our differences. Later in the relationship, however, it becomes essential to understand personality differences and learn to compromise where possible.
No partner can meet all of your needs – only some. It's important to recognise which needs can be met within the relationship and which must be fulfilled in other ways.
Marriage counseling – external support for your relationship
When couples face difficulties, external support may be necessary.
Couples therapy can help replace negative behavioural patterns with positive interactions, rekindle appreciation for one another, and provide tools for better communication. The therapy process may involve:
Expressing feelings and needs openly.
Practising active listening.
Developing conflict resolution skills.
Learning to give and receive constructive feedback and appreciation.
Going separate ways – when your paths no longer align
Sometimes, the best decision for a couple is to go separate ways.
This may be due to diverging life goals, irreconcilable personality differences, or emotional wounds that make reconciliation impossible. It can also be that one partner is putting in much more effort than the other.
Over time, joy, intimacy, passion, and excitement may fade from the relationship. Conversations become difficult, and eventually, both partners may question whether they have anything in common at all.
Common challenges that may arise include:
A lack of emotional connection – struggling to communicate on a deeper level.
A deteriorating sex life – mismatched intimacy needs.
Jealousy and infidelity – trust issues that weaken the foundation of the relationship.
Conflicting values – differing views on family life, priorities, parenting styles, and lifestyle choices.
If both partners remain willing to invest in the relationship, couples therapy can provide tools for rebuilding trust, closeness, and communication.
However, if the connection and shared values are lost, therapy can also help facilitate a constructive separation, minimising emotional harm for both partners.